The end of the year

Tis the time of the year
Which all and one fear
It is the time to suck up
Or else you will fuck up

Ppl without them family jewels
Will surely turn your bowels
They shall sit and judge
The rankings they shall fudge

You slogged the whole year
Till your clothes began to tear
Your share they shall rip
Give it to their pip (squeak)

It is their onus
To give you bonus
Things may seem all hunky
In the end you are only a monkey

You need to preen and prance
For nothing but a fair chance
It is how you sweet talk
not how walk the walk

If the year has been rollicking
They shall be frolicking
They will line their pocket
and all you will get is next year's docket

The Vaccum Cleaner

Once there was a man named Troy
He mated with a vacuum cleaner
Soon there was born a bonny boy
Dad wished he had done it sooner

He needed to have a nice name
It was a question of who would do it
Dad said it should be his claim to fame
So he decided to name him suck it

The boy had a rather strange quality
But dad said it was a rather nice function
It was a rather strange duality
One was blower and other was suction

Soon the boy had a double life
He got a chance to suck and fuck
He had a huge fat dominant wife
All he could do was shut up and suck

Every month there was a peculiar time
Suckit went off for days numbered three
He would say it is my intimate alone time
Suckit said he would really like be free

Suck it liked a puny little boy
He liked to call the boy hey dear
Boy used to act kinda dainty & coy
Cos suck it had his blower up his rear

Slogging to Blogging

I haven't been writing in ages
Ppl thought my blog I had ditched
And gone with the Himalayan sages
I had just gone to get hitched

The pause was not grammatical
It was more like a sabbatical
Now that I more than steady
For poetic pow wow I am ready

The verse now will be more inane
It shall surely drive u crazy and insane
U will ask ur self Oh God why o why
Did I read the blog of  Inane Eye

The damsel and the gentlemen

nce there was this dame
Hated the gentleman's game
Thought of it as a crime
A huge waste of time

The whole nation would drown
Overtaken by the game fever
And she would fret and frown
She wished to wield a cleaver

Soon she too would in love drown
Drop all hate and pretense
Would want the man who missed the crown
She said his eyes were so intense

In her heart there was this thaw
Is it cos he was a student of law
She would happily crow
My love for him would only grow

There was this cricket team
They would treat everyone like dirt
She thought they were honey and cream
When three of them lost their shirt

An Ode to Strange sounds

Sound Type 1  - Sounds things make

There is was sitting in my chair
Pulling and tearing my own hair
I was writing a damned report
for people i would like to deport

I do hear a loud strange sound
My heart begins to pound
With worries abound
I start to look around

I again hear a creak
I jump up like a freak
Gosh, I do need a break
This is more than I can take

I look around and see
He was sucking on a apple pip
Did he let one +++

Sound Type 2 - Sounds people make

I would write about it but this blog does a far more wonder ful job of doing that:
http://hardlyharrharr.blogspot.com/2011/02/dinner-for-two-for-who-ruminants.html

Please do read it

Sound Type 3 - Sounds animals make

Thank the heavenly gods divine
He allowed mostly the bovine
to eat and re eat err to ruminate
strange sounds do begin to emanate

At times when I pass close to them
Sometimes I begin to wonder
Did they commit some big blunder
Allowing them bovines to wander

As they sit all day and ruminate
Strange sounds begin to emante
I am filled with a sense of dread
and wonder if a smell begins to spread

Cosy with Rosy

It was the big year end
And it was a long weekend
Wanted to catch something groovy
So I thought we would catch a movie

Off I went to a great big mall
With my blushy giggly gal
Into a large movie hall we went
It was shaped like a big tent

Music playing was rock and rolla
We got ourselves popcorn and cola
We got ourselves two chairs
To seat our newly committed pair

All we could do is blankly stare
When in walked only pairs
We thought we saw double
But ya in walked only couples

Behind us were seated a young couple
The guy had two of his buttons loose
The girls cheeks seemed rosy and supple
They seemed to have come to snooze

My chair felt a wee little kick
I realized my chair had begun to rock
I felt a little more than sick
I thought was she playing with his  c___

Watching the movie I spurned
To watch wat was happening I turned
The gal was not watching the movie
She was playin with something long and curvy

Before u think I am really sick
and alluding that she was playing with his d___
I would tell u it was not  his c___
But it was his smelly old sock

The girls cheeks were very rosy
The two seemed to get very very cozy
I felt a wee bit pukish and woozy
Kicks told me he was getting cozy with rozy

The Food Bully

He has got a big fat chest
It just peeps out his vest
Your food he will infest
Like some hungry pest

When it comes to food
He is surely the dood (dude)
When it is  time to feed
No one matches his speed

He does a silly little dance
His own finger he will gnaw
But you give him a chance
His mouth moves like a buzz saw

Food is on his scanner
In no uncertain manner
All ur edibles he will suck
Cos food he likes to f...

He will stare and glare
Till u  get a scare
Outside your image he shall sully
Cos he the big fat food bully